Oh! I hear a car door outside! “Bark! Bark!” Oh, boy she knows I’m here and sees me through the window. I feel excited but promptly sit and appear relaxed. Mom said, “No jumping on her clothes or sniffing in inappropriate places.”
Lisa opens the door. I perform a happy dance, making sure I don’t leave paw prints on those pretty shoes. Okay, I sniffed her shoes, but dogs must be dogs. Her shoes smell of leather, but her skin carries the scent of fresh flowers. Dogs roll in flowerbeds to smell that good. Lisa is beautiful for a human with long legs and gorgeous blonde hair (almost the color of mine). She could be a stunning poodle if her nose was longer. Sorry, human females are sensitive about noses.
She’s friendly! This interview will be fun. Maybe Mom will let me have my own page on her website. Hopping onto the leather sofa near the window (so I can still keep track of squirrels, cats, and deer), I let Lisa sit in Mom’s favorite chair. Gazing into her pretty eyes, I appear composed, but my darn tail keeps wagging. I send Lisa a telepathic message and hope she understands:
Lisa, Mom says you just published an amusing memoir “Ms. Cheevious In Hollywood: My Zany Years Spent Working in Tinsel Town” that describes a single mother working hard to succeed in a place filled with starlets and crazy entertainers. What prompted you to write a personal and honest memoir?
I’m so excited you understood me! You know, poodles are talented performers, even appear in circus acts. Did you ever meet a famous dog during your adventures?
Ahhh… no… I was not lucky enough to meet a famous dog, although growing up, we had a puppy who was a descendant of Rin Tin Tin. Does that count?
He was a great dog, but it might be better if you told readers about famous humans you’ve met during your career.
Let’s see… Tom Cruise, Scarlett Johansson, Sting, Sheryl Crow, Gwen Stefani, Martina McBride, Sheila E., Stevie Wonder, Matthew Perry, Snoop Dog, well… the list just goes on and on!
I thought Snoopy was a cartoon dog. Oh, you mean a HUMAN named Snoop Dog. I hear you worked several events at the Kentucky Derby. Did you wear a fancy hat and shout at the horses to run faster? I’m afraid of horses and their smell drives me crazy.
I did attend the Kentucky Derby and worked an event during that time! It was a blast! And yes, I wore a fancy hat each time, and I yelled my heart out to make those horses go faster. But don’t let the horses scare you Lord Bentley! Just bark louder. I’m sure that will help!
Thanks but I'll avoid horses. I understand you raised two kids while working long hours as a single mother. How did you manage to schedule enough time between work and play?
I’m very resourceful. I employed people who would exchange help with the kids for room and board, and expenses, and it worked! It took some added management, but it was possible! I was very lucky to find good, solid people who took good care of my younger son (my older son lived away from home when I moved to LA).
My Mom trades doggie care with neighbors, too. Now for the important stuff. Everyone knows there are wolves-in-human-clothing out there. Do you have dating advice for single moms?
I do! It’s all in my book! I offer all kinds of tips, and some zany stories that exemplify why it’s so important to follow those rules! I don’t want to give it away, but I suppose the most important words of advice I would give to single moms looking to date in Hollywood, is “Surround yourself with good people… and that includes those people you date.” Sounds simple, but it’s harder than it looks!
Okay, now our readers really want to know if you’re writing another book and what they might expect.
I am writing another book! It’s actually coming along nicely. It’s a non-fiction book as well, and is also humor based (just like Ms. Cheevious). But this one is centered on living a healthy and enjoyable life… It’s called “Getting Over Your Ovaries: How to Make the ‘Change of Life’ Your BITCH.” The book will offer a funny list of symptoms to expect during menopause (or as I like to call it, “Orchids”) and how to take control so you can live large and in charge, despite what’s going on in your body. At the same time, the book will help men who are around women struggling through menopause! They’ll enjoy the book just as much as the women! But honestly, people should read all about the book on either of my websites (lisajeydavis.com/books or mscheevious.com/my-books) or on GoodReads (where there are some great advance reviews).
I’m so sorry I failed to offer you refreshments. I have a stack of Milkbones and a bowl of water available to share.
Awe, no thanks Lord Bentley. I’m not really a Milkbone kinda girl.
I understand. Humans prefer finger foods and my paws aren’t designed to carry a tray. I’d spill and need to lick everything off the floor.
That’s quite all right.
Before you leave, please tell Mom’s readers where they can find your book and the MsCheevious blog where you bark to other humans each week.
For those who want a little mischief (and laughter) in their everyday lives right away, they can go to my blog at www.mscheevious.com/blog/, or better yet, subscribe via the Ms. Cheevious Facebook Page to receive a fun post about once a week or less in their email.
My book is available anywhere books are sold. If you walk into a bookstore and they don’t have it, ask them to order it! It’s available through Ingram’s catalog. You can also get it (as well as an autographed copy) on my website: http://www.mscheevious.com/my-books/, and in all formats (including Kindle) on Amazon: http://tinyurl.com/lisajeyd-book.
They can also follow me just about anywhere:
@LisaJey (for author tweets) @MsCheevious (for humor) @BodyByLisaJey (for health/fitness tips)
Facebook Author Page: www.facebook.com/lisajey
Facebook Fitness Page: www.facebook.com/lisajeydavis
Facebook MsCheevious Page: www.facebook.com/iammscheevious
Instagram: @lisajeydavis and @mscheevious
As I watch Lisa close the door and walk to her car, I feel sad, like I’ve lost a member of our pack. Mom said to tell you that she gave Lisa’s new book five stars on a review and recommends readers load it onto their Kindles. I wish I had a Kindle with text-to-doggie-speech. It’s about time for a long nap, bye!